I have been five days away from my Journal; four at an art show and one day recouperating. This weekend my health was remarkable. I think I have finally reach an end of that what seemed to be a nearly month long migraine. I had a couple mind migraines through the weekend and one really annoying one most the day on Saturday but it was my first weekend in a long time where I spent more time without migraine than with.
I had hours on hours of crystal blue levels of pain, or no pain in this case, to match the blue of the sky and ocean. My cheap motel room was up a step hill with several flights of stairs to drag myself up and down a few times a day, which gave me quite a workout. Every evening after the show I felt like crawling into a cave and sleeping forever, but my business partner gave me a nightly foot massage and after that and a cool shower (it was hot and sticky in Catalina) I was able to make it down the stairs again every evening with just about enough energy to walk to dinner and back. By 3 oclock daily I was exhausted, and my 6 could hardly move, but it certainly beat waking up that way! Maybe it was the clean air doing me well, or maybe the Remicade is working, or maybe just my body being able to fight my illness because it wasn’t having to deal with the migraine.
I did look longingly at the night club as I walked by at 8:30 knowing there was no way I could actually dance, or even be up by the time it opened its doors, but I did plenty of walking, made new friends, and generally had a great working vacation. The art show was a success and I am already excited about next year. My partner and I are considering doing less markets and more art shows to better focus my limited energy. I also have vowed to do less volunteer work, limiting my work load to the middle school PTA, and after the year finishes not signing up for another year. I have limited energy and need to respect that. I need to put time and energy into my art, and refocus there. Last year I did far too much volunteer work and far too little of my own art work. I am also going to be taking on more community art classes so will need some of my reserved energy for that. Being selfish about my energy always felt like a horrible thing to do, but now I realize its is the only way to realize my dreams and it sounds down right liberating.