Yesterday I felt fairly good, I wen’t and got a massage mid day, but after I felt just icky, migrainey, tired and sick. I noticed my shoulders were pretty swollen again. I don’t know what causes this, but the first time it happened was shortly before my Remicade infusion, so it isn’t the Remicade.
I felt one little rib dislocate yesterday morning but I think the massage exasperated my whole rib cage. Its hard to breathe or move and the pain is going through my whole torso. Today would be a day I would take morphine and go to bed, if either one of those things was an option. As a rule I try to avoid opiates if possible as there have been drug problems in my family. I also promised to help my grandmother with her estate sale today, so I can’t be in bed.
My dear grandmother, though, isn’t feeling well this morning and thinks she is having a small stroke, so she and my dad have gone to the emergency room, to make sure she is ok. That means I am handling the estate sale alone, which is alright. I just hope I can keep a smile on my face through the pain and make everyone feel welcome. As long as grandma will be alright, everything will be alright. Smiling to myself as that feels like one of the main mantras I live by.