The benefit of a poor memory

When I am feeling well I feel invincible. It’s hard for me to remember when my last flare up was, even if it was a week ago. Its hard to remember I can’t plan camping trips a month out with any definite confidence, or that I probably shouldn’t plan a road trip alone.

The flip side of that is when a flare up hits it hits hard, not just my body, but my confidence and spirit. It whammys my hopes and dreams and self confidence. When its hard to get through a quiet day, then there is no hope for visiting with friends in the evening, or even joining my family for dinner. I can go into a rather morbid depression if I don’t keep my mind busy.

The great thing is, when I am feeling well, I just don’t think about that much. Sure the fear of it creeps up on me all the time, but I can spend my healthy days smiling, and creating, and making big big plans, and getting as much work done as possible so when the illness does hit me hard, I won’t get too far behind.

Today is a good day. I am going to spend the rest of it acting like I have never been ill and will never be ill again. It’s not a bad way to live.

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Filed under Chronic Pain, communication, Coping, depression, Health

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