I have to write about my pain right in the heat of it, or I will forget about it when I am feeling good and never bother writing about it. Last night I had severe chest and jaw pain, which had been getting progressively worse for a few days. I took one aleve, than another a couple hours later but the pain stayed with me on and off until I went to bed. I had a rough nights sleep. My whole body seemed thrown suddenly from feeling really good into complete flare up. My flesh is so tender that the pressure of the mattress and the weight of the blanket was more than uncomfortable but so painful I couldn’t stay asleep for too long. I know this kind of pain can be greatly relieved by regular massage, and luckily I scheduled a visit to Massage Envy this morning.
On top of that pain I had a migraine. I need to start paying attention to see if I regularly get migraines after Aleve, although I am not sure I can stop taking Aleve for the chest pain if I do. I couldn’t find a quiet place to sleep in the house and someone’s computer was set to ping in a high pitch every time they got an email.
Maybe there is another reason I don’t blog about my pain very often, I feel like I just spent the last 10 minutes whining, when truly I am very fortunate. The Remicade seems to be working great, at least for about four weeks, and my home and career circumstances offer some flexibility and understanding with my health issues. But this is a blog I started specifically to deal with my health, help myself understand it and see patterns in it, and help others who may be going through similar struggles, so I can’t just avoid blogging on bad days. Plus is I don’t complain to everyone here (and allow everyone the option of ignoring it) I would probably whine the ear off of someone close to me who has already heard enough, so this is a safe place to vent.
Today I will try not to focus on my limitations, and try not to worry about the yoga classes and hikes I wanted to do but probably won’t be able to, and try to be gentle with myself and rest. Life is good, life is still good. The pain is like the tide, it will go out again too.