Rough Week

I had my Remicade infusion last Monday and they slowed it down to help prevent the allergic side effects I get and I was there for 6 hours after an hour and a half drive.  It’s not like I can do anything else on a Remicade day, but I find being under the IV stressful as it is, so it just prolonged the stress.

Tuesday I had and Edoscopy where they found abnormal cells in two places and have sent them off for biopsy.  Considering Esophageal Cancer is nearly always fatal I am not even going to worry about it until the results come back.  Even if they find Barrett’s Esophagus  that is considered pre-cancerous, and I am hoping beyond hope they come back with a “oh its just psoriasis on your esophagus”.  I also am going through a flare up o the inflammation around my heart and because of the edoscopy couldn’t even take my regular meds for it, so I just had to whine through the pain.

I am also losing my art gallery which is very dear to my heart and am going through some sort of OCD emotional breakdown and have been crying constantly, sometimes hysterically.  My roommate moved out a month early, after telling me its too much pressure to be my best friend, and who could blame him, I would wake him up in the middle of the night crying about silly things.  

Anyways I am looking forward to this week being a better one, it absolutely has to be.


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