Monthly Archives: October 2013

Just work through the pain…

The week before my infusion is often a bit rough. I tend to limp a bit more, fall down more often, and want to linger in bed and just turn on the TV and zone out.

This week was no different except I had a busy week planned with meetings, class and volunteer work and getting a commission done by deadline. I still managed to spend some time having coffee with friends, spent some quality time with my daughter and went dancing as well. I have learned that those are the things to always find time for. I took it easy dancing this week, sitting out half the lesson, visiting instead of dancing, going home early. I find its better for my head to do that when my body is yelling at me rather than skip dancing all together.

Yesterday plans changed a bit. I had a fund raising event for Liver Disease first thing in the morning. I was solo setting up my space which on a good day is hard to do. Unloading a whole galleries worth of art out of my car, setting up the canopy (which I did have help with), and tables and easels. It always has worn me out to some degree even when I am not in pain. By 10 am yesterday I knew I was in trouble. The wind had kicked up and my paintings were blowing all over. I was literally pummeled by my own paintings. People ran to help me out. 10 minutes later the same disaster. By noon I knew I was in trouble, because my paintings were half on the ground and I just didn’t care. I didn’t have the strength to pick them back up. I made a texts of “please come save me”. And they did. By 2 pm the cavalry had arrived. My good friend Randal, my husband and my son all showed up and helped me pack up my car. I would still probably be there trying to clean up if they hadn’t shown up.

By the time I got home my legs were buckling under me, and every step was excruciating. I got some help walking to bed and lay down about an hour. Then it was time to go to Costco to get supplies for Halloween. Shopping carts make excellent walkers if you don’t know. While I was at Costco someone said to me, “the worst part of pain is not knowing what it is, (which I agree has a lot of truth to it) if it were me I would just work through the pain”. I smiled and continued shopping with my walker. Went back to bed when I got home and was kept company by facebook and the tv set, two of my most loyal companions when I am not feeling well. I went to girls night in, which is a wonderful invention where a few friends go bring dinner to a bed ridden friend. I crawl in bed with her and the other girls sit at the end of the bed and we have the best time. I had to call for a ride yesterday, and also get help walking. At least in front of these girls I don’t have to explain or feel embarrassed, they just accept me.

Last night after medication that numbed my brain, I still had trouble sleeping…the pressure of my own body against the bed made it impossible to get comfortable.

Yesterday I did a charity show, an errand with my family, and visited with girl friends. Lifting my phone felt like lifting a barbell with a broken arm, every step I knew I could suddenly be face to face with the pavement, and I could feel pain in a hundred different locations in my body. Pain can really create body awareness, you think wow, I didn’t know there were so many places in one foot to feel pain. Yes, I also turned on my tv more than once and just stared at it. I also took medication, but I did work through the pain. I do work through the pain every single day. We all do. Anyone who is in chronic pain works through the pain. Even if they stay in bed ALL day EVERY day, keep company by just Facebook and the TV set. Just living with chronic pain is working through the pain. Every day someone with chronic pain wakes up and makes it through the time its time to go to sleep again is a fighter. They should be congratulating themselves each day. Yay! You made it. Yay, I made it! And I am going to make it through today too. How about you?

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Where did my daily health post go…

I was planning on posting daily and I did pretty good for a while…meaning maybe several times a week.  But its been months I think since I posted my last heath update. 

Part of that is because I had a rough time emotionally when I lost the gallery, but the great thing was my health stayed pretty decent through that time.  Second reason is that I have been too busy to blog.  But busy means I am feeling good enough to be busy.

I am doing infusions every 6 weeks instead of every eight, and really starting to feel the arthritis about week 5 so that seems like a good schedule for me.  Plus I have been keeping busy teaching art class to kids and adults, doing art shows, and even an occasional road trip or vacation.  I have been able to join friends for lunch, make dinners for my family and amazingly I have begun dancing.

Yes, dancing.  I have been taking 2-4 latin dance lessons every week and sometimes even a little social dancing.  My doctors are thrilled.  Not only is dancing helping to ward off the effects of the arthritis, but it is also helping with my weight problem, my mental health, my heart, and my attitude.  The down side is my feet ache 100% of the time.  And often after class I limp for quite a while, but I would do that anyways.

I am hurting now pretty much 24 hours a day, but I think a lot of that is lack of regular massage that I was getting before.  and somehow this ache while being active is much easier than the ache while in bed.

Today I had trouble sleeping, bad acid reflux, husband with a bad cough, and a couple of dislocated ribs being very angry.  But I also had a very busy day yesterday, drove an hour and a half to see a friend for lunch, then made it to another friends art reception, and still made it to my dance class.  Yes, I am in lots of pain, but really staying in bed has never made my pain go away, so I won’t do it until the day that I have to.  (Which happens about every third Monday).  Some people have bad hair, bad relationships, hunger, I just have to deal with pain.  I can do this.  I can keep creating a life I love and being the person I was meant to be.

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