So today, I taught in the morning, was off by noon, when to pick up a cake, dropped by the pharmacy, ran another errand and was home before two. I rested while designing a t-shirt start to finish and uploading it, then ran to the grocery store and shopped for dinner.
I noticed right away my legs were shaky, so I made sure I held onto to the sharping cart. I took a phone call and realized I wasn’t quite coherent, which is a sign I am over tired. I also realized it was taking me far to long to shop, and I had been at the store long over an hour and a half grabbing just a few produce items and some half and half. I got to the car and felt as if I had been hit my a truck or at least several well swung base ball bats. Every part of my body hurt, and I had to sit for a moment before I was able to drive home. I felt like breaking down and crying but what good would that do.
Half way home the tears started. They weren’t tears of pain however (well not completely). I was thinking about my day, my whole week, my life, and how lucky I am. I get to do so much in spite of my pain. My pain didn’t stop me from teaching this morning. It didn’t even stop me from going to the grocery store. It probably won’t stop me from making a sweet potato casserole for my daughter for Easter tomorrow. If it does, I can always make it on Monday, and that will be ok too. I was crying out of gratitude.
I may spend more time in resting bed then I ever imagined anyone happily could, but it isn’t so bad. I have at least two friends and a cat who will spend time watching tv or movies with me in bed. I have several friends and relatives I can chat with over Facebook across the world while resting in bed. I have found so many ways I can be creative while in my room. I wrote a book, including creating about 50 works of art that are in that book!!! I have a job that is flexible enough that I am able to go in between 2-12 hours a week and they appreciate and respect me. I have a family that makes sure I have food to eat and takes care of household chores I can’t do. I have days where I feel great, and even more where I feel okay, and the days I feel miserable are still usually wonderful in some way. My illness always seems to take more time than I expect and I never seem to get everything done off my to do list, and the days never seem to have enough hours, but that is okay with me. That just means I always have plans for tomorrow. As long as I keep getting tomorrows I can’t complain. What’s a little pain when I get to do wonderful things like go grocery shopping, and run to the pharmacy and teach? Tomorrow I just won’t try to do it all in one day.